I would like to say that wot people ave been sayin about me an some statue of a goat is complete total an utter slander an lies!
i did not get wasted on guttershine
Nor did myself or anyone do any rubbin or motions to, on or around said metal goat.

Im a respectable gentleman down on 'is luck, Dont do such things! Honest guv.

Dunno wot those shaehan priestesses are talkin about.
Slander an lies!

And nor do i know anythin about said goat statue if it gets nicked.