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entry May 17 2010, 08:45 PM
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: This signature is not for sale. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The first section of this text consists of important general information and the second is the formal Code of Discipline; Junior Members are expected to be familiar with both sections. Void where prohibited. No other warranty expressed or implied.

Do not write below this line.

Some assembly required. No animals were mistreated or abused in production. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No user-serviceable parts inside. Beware of dog.

Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. If condition persists, consult your physician. Freshest if eaten before date on package. Subject to change without notice.

For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

Times approximate. Simulated picture. Please remain seated until the .sig has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. May be too intense for some viewers. Colours may, in time, fade. Edited for television.

Some users may experience an undesirable irritation - test on a small patch of skin behind the ear before use. Keep out of reach of children. Keep cool; process promptly.

This .sig contains a head-enhancing device; do not shake vigorously. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Lists were current at time of printing. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Don't try this in your living room; you're watching trained professionals. Penalty for private use. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.

Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames.

Do not erase. Replace with same type. Do not put the base of this .sig on frozen manure.

Approved for veterans. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.

First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary.

Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.

Not exchangeable for cash or other prizes. Non-completion of application voids contract. This product has been partially dessicated. Use a dry spoon and replace lid immediately. Wash hands after use. Keep out of direct sunlight. In case of eye contact rinse promptly with distilled water. Do not cook eggs in their shells.

The phrase "invisible bodyguard" is not intended to be taken literally. It is quite natural for this product to show a slight deposit. Do not use on the face or anogenital regions.

Highly inflammable. Non-toxic, unless contents toxic. If symptoms persist consult your doctor. Store below 25'C. If your child is taking fluorine supplements consult your dentist. For use on non-crop land as a pre-cultivation treatment and around garden plants. Slightly radioactive. When claiming more than £500 proof of identity is required. Does not affect your statutory rights.

For demonstration purposes only. Unauthorised copying, adaption, rental, lending, re-sale, arcade use, charging for use, broadcast, cable transmission, public distribution or extraction of this product or any trademarked or copyright work that forms part of this product is prohibited. Compatible only with hardware displaying PAL.

Attention: Chez certaines personnes, l'utilisation de ce jeu nécessite des précautions d'emploi particulières qui sont détaillées dans la notice jointe. Some game tricks require precise timing and may require repeated attempts before the desired result is achieved.

For massage always dilute in a Base Oil. May help slimming only as part of a balanced diet. Persons removed from cryogenic suspension may have difficulty controlling the volume of their voice. The Prudential Insurance Company Limited is registered in England and Wales. This .sig can only be used as a part payment for Cheestrings D.I.Y. Pizza Kit.

Store only in a four-star frozen food compartment. Danger of death. Do not attempt to short-circuit electrical components. Do not print this document. Do not make illegal copies of this .sig. Post office will not deliver without postage.

Vehicles left unattended for longer than the allowed time will be towed away. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Patent denied. This .sig contains small humour fragments which could be swallowed or misunderstood by people who can't read or think by themselves yet. Keep this .sig clean and leave it in the same condition you found it.

You may tell your friends about this .sig, this will not be unnoticed and will give you bonus points which can help you become a better person in this or a subsequent life. Offer void in Quebec.

Do not attempt to stop .sig with hands or genitals.

.sig technology is not fault tolerant and is not designed, manufactured, or intended for use or resale as online control equipment in hazardous environments requiring fail-safe performance, such as in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, air traffic control, direct life support machines, or weapons systems. Do not use while asleep.

All products and trademarks included in this .sig are trademarks of their respective companies. Dr Israel appears courtesy of Trumystic Records. We are doing our best to exclude those individuals who do not desire to receive materials of this type. Look, don't touch.

Open lock to flush. Made in a factory that also processes peanuts, butter and grains. Can help to prevent homosexuality or lesbianism. Formulated in Swaziland. Close eyes when pressing face against pins. Do not sharpen.

May contain traces of nougat. Caution alc. 5.0%/vol vodka. Don't drink and drive or Mike will kick your butt.

Vouchers should be treated like cash. Books marked * are Club Editions and have a standard format 204mm x 130mm. Route power cord to prevent it from being pinched, or walked on, or melted by a hot stove. Class I laser product. Take with food. All quotes are delayed 20 min. Gently pasteurised, like milk.

Do not live in shaky house. Get Stuff with Kool-Aid points. We do not castrate our pigs.

Do not place highly flammable substances in this .sig. Danger: Fire Kills Children. Insist for this label to avoid immitation buy from reputed dealers only.

Any resemblance between the views herein and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out of my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this disclaimer.)

This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise.

 
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